Have You Seen The Child?

He was my son.

He was my friend.

A little friend, but the closest

I had even been to anyone.

With me in my waking,

in my sleeping,

in as many hours I could in between.

I him I saw me...in eternity...

the continuance of the self

long after the last traces of who

I was had been blown into oblivion.

I him I saw God...His creation

...and mine.

I could not love him less.

All that I am and all that I own

I wished to give to him:

My laughter and my tears...

For what is Christ without the yoke?

When we were together

we were perfect

as father and son could be.

Each moment a sharing...

a passing on of present to future...

A wish that what I was be made greater,

more glorious in him...

rising above the lowly earth...

Finding triumph above the pain...

(for all pain has such purpose)

To continue the spirit's becoming...

that we both will be.

O, but the flesh had been cut...deep...

torn asunder...God's blessing

cast aside, impelled by the cold,

icy west wind.

O the spirit had been tainted

by images of the old self

that had long been denied

at the rebirth...

The foul rotting flesh resurrected,

the old made new again...

And the hearts that have once awakened

to the glory of God's love

have been roused anew to anger...

Memories melted into into the cesspool

of hatred...

I could not comprehend...

I could not accept...

I could not deny...

could not forget...

could not but go on loving.

If only...if only...if only...

Have you seen the child?

Pray, tell me...

That I may find fulfillment again.